after the storm

after the storm
it took me great courage
to keep being strong but tender
to keep being kind but vulnerable
to keep smiling when all I wanted was to hide
to keep being witty but quieter
to keep saying all the things on my mind but without any words
to keep training without destroying my body
to keep working without going insane
to keep sleeping even though; I didn’t want to wake up and experience another anxious day of chaotic thoughts
to keep the kind picture in my mind of you instead of being disgusted

after the storm
I made you irrelevant
I chose to change and outgrow the bitterness that was poisoning my blood and slowly eating out my organs

after the storm
there will always be brighter days
but this time, I am the storm
watch out.